Ordinarily I steer clear of topics I consider controversial, but this is a celebration I feel strongly about.

I never thought I’d have to think about the sanctity of an unborn life in personal terms, but I wound up having to really think about it at one point.

What choice I would make if it came down to a literal life or death decision? I’m writing this not to judge, but to share my heart about something I’ve not been able to bring myself to really talk about much with anyone at all. First, let me tell you how this particular day came about.

* (Quote) In one of his final actions as president, Bush declared January 18 to be “National Sanctity of Human Life Day.”

“All human life is a gift from our Creator that is sacred, unique, and worthy of protection,” the presidential proclamation read. (End Quote)

*Source of quote: http://www.lifenews.com/2009/01/15/nat-4748/

It is easy to say that you are pro life when you never have to face a situation where you are carrying a baby during a health crisis, will be alienated because of your pregnancy, etc.

It’s all RAH-RAH and warm fuzzies when you are not faced with a life or death decision or when you are terrified of the changes & consequences pregnancy means for you. That is when you truly find out how you feel about it. I have trouble judging anyone in extreme circumstances too harshly for the choices they make, although I am 1,000% for saving life whenever possible. For myself, I always had some empathy for the situations some people find themselves in, but having my own personal brush with possibly having to make an extraordinarily difficult decision has given me an even deeper understanding of the emotions and conflicts people can go through.

When I was pregnant with our second child, they found a grapefruit sized mass in my right ovary.

When they finally informed me about it, they had no idea whether it was cancerous or spreading or anything. They began to rush appointments to diagnose exactly what this mass was, stating that it was “almost too late for a choice if you require treatment”. To be translated, if they didn’t find out if I had cancer and needed immediate treatment pretty much right then, I would lose the window of time of being able to abort our baby.

I was floored and terrified.

I knew that delaying treatment if it were aggressive and cancerous could mean my daughter and unborn child could wind up being robbed of their mother. I lost my mom in a short two months after her diagnosis, so I had no illusions about what could happen to me. In that moment, I understood why women in that very situation sometimes do choose abortion. There was never a moment I was willing to kill my child- who was completely healthy and okay at that point in pregnancy- but I understood the gut wrenching conflict for life threatening situations in a way I never had before.

When they brought us in for my testing, they rushed the results. As I sat with my husband waiting for the news, I was shaking like a leaf and praying in silence that it would be good news. When they told us that it was a benign dermoid tumor- with no risk of cancer and the ability to delay surgery until our child’s birth- I bawled. They thought I was upset about the news they’d given, but I was just so relieved that I would not have to choose and that the odds were we would both be okay in the end. I didn’t want to choose to possibly die for my baby, but I’d already made that choice. Because of my experience with my mom, I believed that if it were cancer, my babies would very likely not have a mother to grow up with. I would never have allowed them to kill my baby to save myself, though, and was totally at peace with that decision, as horrifying was it was to me.

My pregnancy and delivery were far from easy.

The complications were pretty major, but it gave me such an appreciation for the gift of life and the sanctity of all human life, especially those who cannot protect or choose for themselves. The day we brought our son home from the NICU and were able to finally introduce him to his big sister is shown above, and that was an amazing feeling.

All of the above pictures, except the last photo, were taken by my sweet friend Ashley Bell with https://www.facebook.com/aBellPhotography/ and she did a wonderful job capturing the precious gift of our son’s life and homecoming (and managed to get a decent picture of him with his mommy who wasn’t doing or looking very well after all the trauma, which is amazing in itself).

Please join me in celebrating and acknowledging the beauty, joy, wonder and sanctity of all human life, no matter how small.

For the story about the miracle of my son, check out the post I published for his first birthday here: My Miracle Man‘s First Birthday/

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For a statement your baby can wear about being prolife, go here: Inktastic Unisex Baby Pro-Life Pink And Blue Ribbon Infant Creeper