I’m not sure if anyone noticed that I missed my normal “Cooking With Coupons” blog of the week or posting anything else for a few days. I apologize for the silence. What should have been my mom’s 51st birthday was a few days ago. My brain just hasn’t been able to churn out any creative thinking in the little time I’ve had to attempt to use it, and nothing I have written was inspiring me to post it.
My mom was one of the most kind and caring folks I have ever known.
She was radiant, and I only wish she were here now to continue to share that radiant sweetness she had with the next generation. She isn’t, but I am, so I’m doing my best to pass it along. Today, I’m going to just share a few thoughts and issue a challenge in her honor.
First, I’ll share my daughter’s reaction to my mom’s birthday:
Princess Peach was upset that I didn’t make a cake for my mommy’s birthday, and was quick to let me know about it. She said I needed to make a cake right now so she could put a candle in it and make a wish for her grandma. When I asked her what she would wish for Grandma, she replied “I’d wish for her to be able to come down from Heaven to visit so she could meet her beeeeauuuuutiful grandbaby!” as she patted her own little chest. Her mommy wishes her wish could come true.
Moving on…
All of us know someone who needs encouragement in one way or another.
Take a few minutes out of your day and just do it. Some ideas?
Send a card to a widow whose husband passed a couple of months ago, sharing a fond memory you have of him (if you knew him). By that point, most folks have forgotten she is still alone and needing something to help fill the void, but she hasn’t and the loneliness is probably kicking in at a new depth.
For the teenager who struggles with school, but got a great report card, send an email or a note on social media letting him know how proud you are of his efforts. It helps teens to know others notice when they are doing well, and not just when they screw up. (We all know they get in enough trouble! 🙂
If you know a child who is painfully shy, take a minute to speak to her and let her feel heard and noticed, whether commenting on her drawngs or complimenting her outfit. Don’t push her too much and scare her, just pay attention. Your acknowledgement could help her come out of her shell, and will at least help her to know she isn’t invisible. (Spoken as a former social phobic young girl. 🙂 )
If you see a mommy struggling to get into the grocery store juggling little ones, cuppies, purse and diaper bag, open the door and compliment her on her cutiepies. You’ll help her feel better about the tough job of being a parent.
Encourage your children to be kind. Have them color pictures for grandparents, do thank you notes for those who do nice things for them, hug the elderly woman who always sits on the pew in front of you at church, or other little things that can brighten lives.
If you know someone is going through something you’ve been through already, share with them how you got through. Not in a judgmental way, just in a manner to let them know they aren’t alone and someone else has been there and survived.
Smile. Just smile at people. It takes less effort than scowling, and the trickle effect of your sunny mood can brighten someone’s sour face. 🙂
I could go on all day, but I won’t. The point I’m trying to make here is that you don’t have to do anything huge. Just do something small every day you’re blessed with the precious gift of life to spread kindness in the world. It makes a much bigger difference than you may ever know.
Now for the challenge:
I want to ask anyone who reads this to share at least one “small” kindness someone did for you that made a difference for you. Maybe it will inspire others to do the same for someone else, continuing the kindness bestowed on you. Please, please share!
Remember…
“You can change the world one act of random kindness at a time.”
To see the beginning of this series, head on over to Acts of Kindness.
“You can change the world one act of random kindness at a time.”
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer in October of 2006, we had no idea how quickly it would take her away from us. She had always been so strong, healthy and active that it was hard to imagine something so seemingly intangible & mysterious as cancer could beat her. To our shock and horror, it stole her life, and rapidly. In a short two months, my vibrant mom was gone.
I won’t go too deeply into the details of her sickness and our loss right now, since that isn’t the point of sharing this. The point of sharing is the legacy of kindness that my mom left behind and the ripples of kindness others showed when she was taken from us so quickly.
When I lost my mom, I also lost my best friend.
The hole left in my life and heart is something indescribable, and nothing anyone could understand without having been there. There were those who probably didn’t know what to do to help me, so they did nothing. There were many more who probably knew they couldn’t make my pain go away, but they still reached out to let me know that I was not alone. Most of the latter were probably unaware of the difference they made for me and my family, but every little thing someone did for us made a huge impact. Without the kindness of those around us, I don’t know that we could have made it through our loss as well as I have.
Do you want to know some of the many acts of kindness I was blessed with during the loss of my mom?
When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I had just started getting really involved with a new church community. I didn’t expect much support or love from them, since I’d had alot of negative & unkind experiences with church people in my life previously, but they were there for me every step of the way. They didn’t just pray for me, which is always appreciated, but they actively let me know they cared. They’d come to me and ask how my mom was and how I was handling things and if I needed anything. They also reached out to my brother, and were a strong support for him during his grieving process. I would never have asked for help, even with the offer, but the offers still mattered and the concern made it’s impact.
Mom & Brother At a Family Reunion, 2005
Family and friends alike called and emailed regularly to check on us and let us know they were thinking of us. Some offered help. Most just let us know they cared. All were an important part of our family’s survival of my mom not surviving.
My dad owns his own business, Cue Man Billiards and Hightower Cues http://www.hightowercues.com, and my parents had no health insurance. Other business owners and individuals in the billiard industry organized a fundraiser to assist with the mounting medical bills. The money helped. The fact that all of those people cared enough about our family and had that much respect & concern for my dad to reach into their pockets and open their hearts to help us in our time of need meant even more than the cash, though. I saw my dad- who is not a very emotional person- with tears in his eyes because of what the gestures of so many people in his business world meant to him. The billiard industry doesn’t have the best reputation in some circles, but I can say from experience that there are some amazing and good hearted folks who love pool. 🙂
Speaking of my dad’s business… even his customers showed kindness to us. I was working with my dad at the time, and we would have customers who were aware of our circumstances ask on a regular basis about how my mom and our family was doing when they called or emailed to order . They probably didn’t know, but the moment it took to show care and kindness made a lasting impact.
I was involved in an online community who consistently kept up a thread just for prayers and encouragement for me through this time, and each post reminded me that our family was not alone on an island of sickness. Friends who were distant would send e-cards and messages of well wishes, prayer and just reminders that they cared. I didn’t realize how many true friends that I had until I was going through something I could never have handled alone.
The women at the gym my mom & I once frequented together now saw me coming in alone, and kept up with her sickness and sent well wishes to her on a regular basis.
When my mom passed away, I was shocked at how many people from near and far came to pay respects to her and show support to those of us grieving this loss of this amazing woman. Each and every member of my Bible study group showed up either at the funeral home for visitation or the funeral. Women from the gym my mom had once loved to go to came to show their final respects. Most of our relatives, both close and remote, seemed to have shown up. Old friends even came from states away to be there for us. I was amazed at all of the names in the sign-in book.
(On the topic of that sign-in book… please, please, please always sign that book when you go to a visitation, viewing or funeral! It is so important to the grieving family, because they may be in such a daze that they can’t recall or even notice everyone who is there. That book will tell them you were there for them.)
Brother at his daughter’s 1st birthday in 2008, passing on the love mom left with us.
There were tons of flowers and cards and even a beautiful painting from people whose lives had been touched by the radiant & loving life my mom had led.
People from my church, my dad’s church and my uncle’s church provided us with food for meals we would never have bothered to cook for the first couple of weeks. Our next door neighbor even brought us a hot breakfast the morning of my mom’s funeral. In our grief, we would most likely have forgotten about eating anything significant, but these people literally gave us comfort food.
A couple of people donated to the cancer society in my mom name. Some told me stories of ways that she had touched their lives. Others simply said they were sorry for our loss or said nothing and gave me a hug. All of them touched my heart deeply, because the feeling behind the act is the most important thing of all.
Noone made anyone do anything for us. They just cared, and showed it through their acts of kindness.
There were many more that I’m not mentioning, but it would fill pages upon pages. The point of sharing all of this is to encourage everyone who reads this that no kindness is too small, no word too insignificant, no action too simple to make a difference.
For my fellow penny pinchers out there, kindness costs you nothing and gives so much. Just telling someone who is grieving or having a difficult time in life “I care” or “I am here for you” goes a long ways, if you truly mean that from your heart. All of those tiny acts of kindness, along with the legacy of my mama’s love that I have kept in my heart, helped carry me through the murky mire of overwhelming and debilitating grief that eventually threatened to drown me.
In my everyday life, I’ve also experienced many acts of random kindness, but… well, that’s another story of kindness for another day. 🙂
Mom in Joyful Times. She taught me so much about what it means to be kind! Help me pass that on!
Is there some small kindness someone did for you during a low point in your life that helped you to struggle on another day? Please share!
Remember…
“You can change the world one act of random kindness at a time.”
You Can Change the World One Act of Random Kindness At a Time!
I originally wrote just to share with my friends only seven months after my mom passed away. She diagnosed with lung cancer (as a non-smoker) on October 19, 2006 and passed away December 20, 2006. She was only 44 years old when she died, and her 51st birthday would’ve been this month. In her honor, I’m sharing this, and intending to renew my vow to do little “acts of random kindness”. Feel free to share your own thoughts and feelings on the topic…
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Acts of
Random
Kindness
Tonight I went with my dad & brother to see the movie Evan Almighty.
Going into the movie, I was expecting sheer stupidity & goofiness and maybe a few laughs. I wasn’t disappointed. I giggled & cackled my way through the film. (Any story involving a guy who is told to build an ark in a high class modern neighborhood has gotta be pretty funny!) However, the part that stuck in my mind wasn’t anything that brought snickering to my soul. It was a simple statement that went along with something I’ve been thinking about alot here recently. That statement was this…
“You can change the world one act of random kindness at a time.”
Mom, Nana and Me
Do you know what is the most amazing thing about that simple little statement? It’s true! If each & every one of us took it in our hearts to do all those acts of random kindness that we know we should do, but are usually rushing too quickly through life to do- it would change the world in wonderful ways. People would smile more, blood pressure would lower, heart attacks & churning stomachs & bad nerves would be less of an issue and the world would be much less stressful & more happy than we can even imagine.
This past Monday night, our Bible study group leader challenged us to spend this week trying to look for small ways to serve others and show kindness every little chance we get, and observe what sort of difference it makes in our lives & our outlook. Since this was something I’d already been thinking on, and it was reiterated for me in a goofy comedy tonight, I’m taking this on as a seriously fun challenge. I’m going to be looking out for itty-bitty ways to share joy, help others, be kind, and randomly serve those around me.
How about trying this with me? Open a door, carry some groceries, give someone a hug, compliment someone on a job well done, let a car in front of you even if you have been stuck in traffic for an ungodly length of time…just go ahead and do any kindness you can see to be done. Don’t leave it for someone else to do. Don’t think that it isn’t important. Think about the times your life has been positively impacted by a kindness that was fairly insignificant…and pass along that impact!
Don’t forget…
“You can change the world one act of random kindness at a time.”
Is there some little act of random kindness that has impacted your life in a big way? Share it with me! I wanna hear about it. Please share this message with anyone who could use a little kindness in life!
~Keisha~
July 4, 2007
Has a small act of kindness impacted your life in a big way? What acts of random kindness have you done lately, or had done for you? I’ve had seemingly random or small acts of kindness that were pretty huge to me and sometimes life changing. I plan a follow-up post (or series of posts, even) in the nearby future telling a few of those stories. Share, people, share! I’m all eyes here. 🙂
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Penny Pinching Peach 