Penny Pinching Peach

More Than a Mom

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Before being a mommy, with one of my hiking buddies.

Before being a mommy, with one of my hiking buddies.

Sometimes I find it hard to remember that I was ever more than just a mom.

It’s difficult to believe that once my primary identity was merely “Keisha, a human”, rather than my first identifier being the fact that I am obviously the mother of the two beautiful munchkins who are pretty much always with me everywhere I go and the growing bump showing baby number three coming along. I don’t remember the last time I was remembered for being myself, but everywhere we go regularly people remember my friendly little people. I love being Mommy…but sometimes I desperately need to remember that I am more than that.

Once I had a job that I was proud of, with flexible hours conducive to being a full time mommy when the time came (and continued to work- taking them with me- for the first three years) and had worked very hard to make that a secure long term career plan. I had to step away from it in order to make the parenting decision I could be comfortable with under extenuating circumstances I can’t go into publicly. I went from being a wife, mother, and shipping manager/motivator in the family business to being a full fledged stay at home mom & wife. Even knowing it was the right decision, I went through a huge depression. I still struggle with the fact that I “just” take care of my family.

Staying at home with little ones day in and day out is both rewarding and soul numbing.

I forget I am anything other than a mother. I forget I’m capable of anything other than being a sibling referee, snot wiper, bottom cleaner, story teller, homeschool teacher, art director, entertainer, dish washer, laundress, chef, chauffeur and all the other little things that make up the day of a homeschooling parent of a tribe of small children. What else is there in the world? I don’t remember sometimes, since I’m alone in this little world of children so much of the time.

I always dreamed of being a mommy. I love living that dream- with or without income in my own right- but sometimes I want to remember there’s more to me than that.

Being silly, before I became a mom or lost my own mom.

Being silly, before I became a mom or lost my own mom.

I am artistic. I can do a lot more than just quick sketches for my children to color, but I forget that sometimes because I just don’t take the time out of being Mommy to do draw anything that interests me without involving my babies. I love to hike and wander through nature, but it’s so much hassle to try to haul my children along by myself that I don’t bother, and my husband is so infernally busy with the job of providing for the family and being everything to everyone that he rarely takes time for that type of outing. I’m good at selling anything I’m enthusiastic about, but haven’t been able to focus beyond the munchkins enough to find something I am passionate about to sell to help pay for our little family’s needs. I haven’t finished a book that wasn’t colorfully illustrated for the joy of children in a few years now, where I used to read extremely long novels on an almost daily basis. Until I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, I went to the gym three times a week, because I loved it. Haven’t stepped foot in one in over 5 years now. I could go on, but I’ve forgotten too much. Really! 😉

Mommies, it’s okay to forget for awhile what made you unique and happy as an individual before you became a parent.

I know that I do. Sometimes I forget who I am underneath it all so much that it starts feeling soul numbing, though, and I have to do something- however so small- to remind myself of the things I loved and was good at before. When it starts to get to you, take time to try to remember. If you’re like me, you just plain can’t do anything major. That’s okay. What do I do?

Well, I blog, for one thing. It reminds me I’m able to continue to form sentences and thoughts without anyone’s input other than what flows from this crazy place inside of my brains. 🙂 It’s amazing how much that helps.

I draw, even if it’s just a quick card to brighten someone’s day. Sometimes I even throw some calligraphy on there.

Walking in the woods with Mommy

Walking in the woods with Mommy

I take my kids on a walk in the woods. I may not be able to go for miles on a trail somewhere, but I can certainly circle my own woods, watching the take in the beauty of nature that I find so peaceful as an individual and treasure even more as a mother.

I read a few online articles or a magazine to satisfy my inner bookworm until the day that I can voraciously consume literature once more.

I crazy dance around my living room or do stretches to feed my inner gym rat. I need to move it, move it….even if I’m tripping over crazy short people in the process. 🙂

In short….I remember.

I remember what I love and who I am that has absolutely nothing with the beauty of motherhood and the demands of tiny amazing beings who call me Mommy. I seriously stink at remembering, but sometimes I pause and remember all those little things that make me just plain ME. I am a much better mom when I take a few minutes to do that.

How do you remind yourself that you are more than a mom? Struggling? Head over here for a reminder that you are not alone.

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25 thoughts on “More Than a Mom

  1. re “sibling referee, snot wiper, bottom cleaner, story teller, homeschool teacher, art director, entertainer, dish washer, laundress, chef, chauffeur and all the other little things that make up the day of a homeschooling parent…” That’s quite a daunting resume. But I know what you are saying. If it’s any comfort “we” are more than aware of Keisha, the human. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. we are so much more then a mom, we are the one who brought them into this world, to me that is a hero

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love being a mom, but I think it’s always important to take time for yourself. I remind myself that I’m more than a mom when I take the time to exercise or go out and do fun things without my son. Very nice post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sometimes I think back before I was a mom. It seems so long ago even though it really has only been 6 short years. The only think I miss is the sound of silence 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t remember, either. Actually, on the rare occasion that I do get out, without the kids, I find myself telling anyone who will listen about them. I feel broken without them!

    I love how you’ve found ways to reconnect with yourself. I (clearly) still have a hard time with that, three kids in!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I write about it because I forget about it myself, hoenstly. I literally have only been away from my children once in the past year that didn’t involve a doctor’s appointment, so I don’t get the chance to miss them. LOL

      Like

  6. I’ve always enjoyed writing and communicating with others through that. That’s one of the reasons I decided to blog … to do something that’s not motherhood related. It’s funny though because what I mostly blog about is being a mom. 🙂 Though I am more than a mom, being one is so much of who I am.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s good to find ground where you can be you and I believe very important to save our sanity from time to time.
    I often find it in the shower as its the only full 20minutes indisturbed! One day I’ll be able to do yoga without having acrobatic balance with a toddler hanging of my back 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, I love this post. I can relate to practically all of it–except the being able to draw part–that would be a huge joke coming from me.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I blog, work and hang out with my husband.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Being a mom is messy, ugly, beautiful, gross BUT so important. We grow so much by serving our children and families. And God uses us to equip them with truth. THAT is a seriously important job. It’s life or death…for eternity. Yes, it can be __________ some days. You can wonder what you could possibly be doing of any importance other than being an indentured servant. But it is a high calling…You are a servant of the High King to His creation. Don’t lose heart momma! {{HUGS!}} ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. So wild how we can lose ourselves yet find ourselves in this crazy thing called motherhood! Blogging and yoga help me remember I’m more than a mom. Saw you featured on Manic Mondays and loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: Who Thinks You Are Beautiful? | Penny Pinching Peach

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